Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
MIDGETS
????
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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