Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
