Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
