For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
