I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
