Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
