Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
