So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize