This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
