Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
