i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im holly from the hills drunk
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Shame - the story of my life.
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