And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
