So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Randomize
