I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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