woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
