i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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