so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
