the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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