You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
