Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize