someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
