I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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