butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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