when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have fence marks all over my body
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
