I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
