I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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