what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
