I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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