You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
