you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
