watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
