I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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