I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize