I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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