Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
