He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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