I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
