they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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