You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hippo gnu deer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
