he puts the penis in happiness.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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