I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
