Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
