the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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