Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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