Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
