I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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