I wish I only lived at night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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