he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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