you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize