Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
