It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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