we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
