Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
