I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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