No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
