I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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