If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
well you can't waste a boner
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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