I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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