At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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